Chitty Chats with Stacy

Greetings, my friends.

I am so excited to be back with you.

I have clearly dropped the ball and
taken a little pause with Chitty chats

with Stacy, and I thought it'd be good
to just let you know where I've been,

what I've been doing, and what I'm up to.

So, a year ago today I
was in the Middle East.

I was tasked with deploying with the
Wyoming Army National Guard in late.

2024, and I had spent quite a bit of
2024 gearing up to help our deployers

get ready to go, and then had the honor
and the privilege of going with them.

And so I have been 100% focused
on my Wyoming Army, national Guard

life, pretty much for the last.

Year and a half, almost two years.

And I think it's time I just unpack
that a little bit for you and give

you a little bit of an explanation.

So for those of you who don't
know, I, in my part-time life am

a behavioral health officer with
the Wyoming Army National Guard.

And what that means is.

I screen our soldiers for
deployability most of the time,

like on our drill weekends.

And then in the state of Wyoming
we have a field artillery unit.

And we have several units, but
primarily field artillery state.

And when we get the call, we provide
field artillery support as needed

in the places that need that.

And so our team was called, and for
the first time in many, many years,

we had our brigade and our battalion.

Deployed together and,
or at the same time.

And so we had over 500 of our 1500
soldiers in a deployment status.

So one third of our soldiers deployed
and I got to go with them and was not

planning on it in any way, shape or form.

I had made alternate plans.

My daughter was graduating.

A year early my son had some stuff
going on and when I got the call, like

most National Guard families, we have
a completely different civilian life.

And when you get the call to deploy, you
have to make a lot of arrangements and.

A lot of different
things to navigate that.

And so I did that and thankfully with the
support of my husband, I was able to go to

the Middle East and support our soldiers.

And what that looks like from
a behavioral health officer

standpoint while deployed is really.

Helping soldiers during combat,
operational stress, helping families

back home, navigate the stressors
of what's happening on deployment.

And it's a very strange experience
in that while I am the professional

supporting others going through the same.

You know, the same things
that I am going through.

I'm also experiencing
it right alongside them.

So I am supporting them in their
operational stress, being away

from home, navigating complicated
relationships, navigating the deployed

environment, while I am also navigating
complicated relationships, the deployed

environment, all the things that
come with deployment, and I think.

What's unique about my situation is
that my current husband is also in

the Wyoming Guard and I, him and I
have navigated him being deployed

and now me deep being deployed.

And we've been on both sides of the
coin where we've been left behind and

we've also done the deployment together.

And that's a unique definitely
a unique piece of the pie.

And in many ways, this deployment
was the trip of a lifetime for sure.

I feel very fortunate that I got to go on
this trip and see many, many parts of the

world and, and really have very meaningful
conversations with our deployed soldiers.

On the other hand, it's one of
the hardest things I've ever.

Done.

As far as coming back home, I think
the deployment itself, I feel grateful

that I was not impacted by war per se.

I have served a lot of soldiers who come
home with moral injury, PTSD, and the

impacts of war, and there were several on
this deployment who came home with that.

And I feel very fortunate that I
was in a relatively safe place and.

Definitely got to experience
deployment in a way that was pretty.

Pretty low risk.

There were some times where I definitely
got to know my own fight fighter, freeze.

I also don't be fooled.

I also took all the knowledge that I've
tr discussed and taught and lived and

applied it in this particular environment.

So.

Things as simple as money in the
bank of relationships, saying

good morning to everybody.

Treating people very respectfully.

Building on safety and relationship
in, in my conversation so that people

feel comfortable coming towards me.

Teaching our leaders
about brain development.

You know, we had over 200 soldiers that
are under the age of 25, and there's some

things to unpack around that as far as.

Morals and ethics in the military, and
that's probably a completely different

episode In my case during this time, it
was interesting to be able to educate

leaders on cortex and prefrontal cortex
and reasoning and decision making and

how come people are struggling and
where's the resilience, and really

tying that back to the brain science.

And how much that really impacts
leadership and how we lead our,

our troops, and how we lead people.

And so I feel so grateful to have
had the opportunity to take what

I know about brain development and
neuroscience and emotional regulation and

co-regulation, and truly put that into.

Place in an environment as
stressful as deployment and

also teach leaders about that.

I also.

Was very intentional on
my own basic needs, right?

I know that one of the number one
resiliency factors for anyone in life

is a good sleep cycle, and I know that
the first thing that gets blown up when

we're on deployment is a sleep cycle.

And so for me, protecting
my own sleep cycle.

Protecting my ability to co-regulate
others, meeting my own basic

needs, all of that was critical
for me to be able to do my job.

What I didn't expect was how difficult
it would be to come back home.

And I think that that is
very common across the board.

Reintegration is such a real thing, and
I'll probably get teary eyed as I talk

through this, even though I've spent the
last eight months really thinking about

reintegration in my own integration.

I think for many of us, we think
we're just gonna go back to our life

and everything's gonna be the same.

My husband.

Is very wise.

And he had said to me, no one goes on a
deployment and comes home the same person.

You leave parts of yourself
behind and you come back.

Changed in many ways, and that is
definitely what happened to me.

I came back in.

Every single piece of my life is different
than before I left on deployment.

My daughter graduated from high
school and is doing great things

in her now adult life and has moved
out of my house, which is strange.

My son has been living full-time
with his dad for a long time

and has set a lot of boundaries.

That have shifted our relationship
and that is different.

I am now living full time with my husband,
which for some of you might be like hello.

You're married.

Well, I had a shared custody
agreement and I was doing every

other week in Colorado, which is.

Why I would do reflections,
and you all would hear some

of that while I was driving.

And now I'm no longer doing that.

I'm living full-time with my husband,
which is wonderful and different.

Several of my relatives, including my
mom, moved to different parts of the state

and I don't get to see them as often.

And my business changed a little
bit in that I, once I became home.

I was continuing to serve soldiers
as they were going through their own

reintegration process and I have just
recently, as of January, gotten off

full-time orders and I finally feel
like I am reintegrating and getting back

to my life as it is in my new normal.

And so reintegrating and
supporting everyone while they're

reintegrating has been very.

Difficult and also a privilege.

One of our, our key goals was
to have no completed suicides.

After reintegration and also
during the holiday season, and

that is true now, that's that.

That did occur.

We did not have any completed suicides.

Now, that's not to say that we didn't have
several people who have felt suicidal, who

were dealing with suicide ideation, who.

We're close to an attempt.

We've had multiple people who've been
through divorces and breakups and

child custody issues and coming home to
families that, you know, maybe they left

and their partner was pregnant or they
had a new baby and now they're home.

Or so many changes have
happened and one of the things

people often say is that the.

World continues and deployment feels
like this little pause and reintegration

is really about catching up.

Now there are many people who reintegrate
very smoothly and have no issues and

come back and they're excelling and
things are good, and deployment may

have been a launching pad for them.

I know for me it was highly difficult.

I have really leaned on many of my.

Support systems.

I'm very grateful to have a
husband who has deployed and

has also reintegrated and really
understood what I was going through.

I'm very grateful for my clients.

My civilian clients who've hung in
there with me, gave me some space

to deploy, and then have also been
willing to pick up the ball and.

Work with me again.

I'm also grateful for all of you
who have listened and supported

and been cheerleaders in my bigger
purpose of really just helping

people on Earth and in this planet,
on this planet, and I think that's.

A piece of where I'm going next.

And so part of deploying is you
have a lot of time to think and

reflect and get clear on life.

And that's been a big piece for me.

I've really been able to evaluate
what is it that I want to do next?

What is, where's my next steps?

And I. I feel this very, very
deep calling purpose, voice from

God, whatever you wanna call it.

I know that my next step is to really
help people with any regulation

issues that they might have.

One of the things that
I know to be true after.

Really over 20,000 one-on-one
conversations with humans is that one,

we don't often just sit with ourselves.

When we feel uncomfortable, when we have a
moment that is a really difficult moment.

We do everything we can sometimes
to avoid that moment and

not just sit with ourselves.

And I wanna teach people how to do that.

The second thing is that we
don't often have a lot of people

who will just sit with us.

That's why so many people
are in therapy now.

Looking for that and hoping that
they can just have a non judgey

mc judger hold space for them.

And so I have come back on
fire and passionate about.

Just helping people sit with themselves.

I think that there is an important
piece of quiet and noticing and

supporting our bodies and getting
in touch with our nervous system

that is really getting distracted
by screens and scrolling and news.

And one of the things that I
absolutely came home from deployment

about, passionate about was that.

I no longer believe
the United States news.

I just won't even watch it.

It's too, it's inaccurate, it's
biased, it's created to breed hate,

and I don't want a part of it.

So some of you might be saying,
well, where do you get your news?

I watch or listen to BBC.

I listen to Sky News in Australia.

I listen to Al Jazeera.

That's a different thing for me.

I, I want the news, but I want facts.

I am no longer interested in
participating in the rhetoric of

breeding hate amongst each other.

I think there's too much pain for
all of that, so it's not lost on me.

I also wanna be clear that
I'm in the military and there

are a lot of components.

With being in the military that
might be related to breeding

hate, and that's a lot to unpack.

I will say I had several moments in
my time in the Middle East where I

got to interact with Middle Easterners
from various parts of the world who

were really grateful that Americans
were there because they had been.

Run out of their countries not
allowed to go back to places.

Their families had been refugees and
they were moving to different locations,

and so they weren't sure if they were
ever gonna see their family again.

They weren't sure if they were
gonna live, they weren't sure

if they were gonna be killed.

It's a, it's very nuanced and I want
to acknowledge that I am part of an

institution that really does focus on.

War and harm, and by wearing the
uniform, there is a, an agreed upon

signing of the dotted line that I agree
to that also, and I am also saying I

don't agree to that, and I think that's
the piece that's really important.

As I listen to the news, as I talk
with humans, we are so nuanced.

It's not black or white.

It's not either or, it's
not one or the other.

I can wear a uniform and be against
terrorism and really, really bad dudes

and dudes and people that are doing
terrible things to people, and I can

also wear the uniform and not agree with.

The things that we're doing.

So I just think it's important
to know that I, I want us to

start looking at the nuances.

I don't wanna catalog
one person as one thing.

I think we're very full of depth
and I've spent a lot of time.

Realizing I don't fit in a box.

I am not a kind of person who
is going to be one sort of way.

I wanna have deep, meaningful
conversations with people and.

I wanna support families and educators
and veterans and parents and caregivers

and individuals who are really
interested in sitting with themselves

and nuances and learning how to
regulate their own nervous systems.

And so.

That's where I'm headed.

Friends, that's the next piece.

And for those of you who've been with
me, I just wanna say thank you for

continuing on this journey with me.

For those of you who are
new I wanna say welcome.

We're glad you're here.

Leave your judge Mc judger outside.

We're gonna talk through
a lot of different things.

I'm hoping to have some new guests.

This year I'm hoping to put out
some great information about a

lot of things I've learned, and
I just wanted to say thank you.

I can't do the work and support
people and really love people through

their pain without your support.

You all are such a huge part of what
makes me tick and makes me wanna

continue to, you know, get up in the
morning and serve others, and so.

Thank you.

Thank you for supporting me
over the last couple years.

Thank you very much for continuing to
support me on this journey and I can't

wait to bring you all this additional
new information, so hang in there.

Friends, we're gonna be dropping
a new season of Chitty Chats soon

and I look forward to connecting.

I appreciate all of you and I just hope
you have a wonderful, wonderful day.