Chitty Chats with Stacy

reflection 2
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[00:00:00] Uh, it's time for my weekly reflection on my beautiful drive. Today I'm driving from Wyoming back to Colorado. Uh, it's warmer this week than it was last week. So, I've been thinking this week about relationship. And There's some major things that happened in my professional life this week.

Uh, a service member was found, passed away, and a very tragic event that impacted multiple service members, and how are we going to support service members, and what does this look like, and it just caused me to really reflect on how we just support humans [00:01:00] in general, and one of the things that I. What I felt like I was up against this week was an understanding of the power of relationship.

And one of the things that happens when you become a clinician is you really start to see dynamics at play in all sorts of various ways and various areas and with various humans. And so I can't not walk into a situation and think about dynamics. And when I think about supporting people, one of the questions that often comes up for me is where is relationship?

Who has relationship? What kind of relationships are, are happening? the people that need the support, where do they get relationship? And what happens in that is when we'd start thinking about [00:02:00] relationship, it brings us to co regulation. And so what we know to be true is we cannot self regulate until we've been co regulated.

That's an actual developmental need that we all have. And so when we think about we want humans to be able to. Self-regulate. We want humans to be able to emotionally hold their own emotional regulation as needed. We have to say, okay, have they been co-regulate? The other thing that we look at is over time, those of us who've been adulting for a long time, we know in our hardest moments that we need co-regulation and co-regulation comes right back to relationship.

Comes back to, okay. Hey, I got to show up for these humans. I got to support these humans. What kind of co regulation do [00:03:00] I need in order to support these people? It also comes back to what kind of co regulation do they need after I leave or what kind of relationships do they have currently? And that can be applied across the lifespan and in all settings.

So no matter what the age is, I'm looking at relationship and I'm looking I'm looking at co regulation. No matter what the setting is, I'm looking at relationship and co regulation. Whether that's in an educational setting, a military setting, a clinical setting, a parent setting, or just friendship. It applies across the lifespan.

So, let me be clear though. I don't believe we need more pennies than quarters. I believe that relationship is about depth. Not just width. So many people have [00:04:00] many relationships. We're connected to hundreds of people throughout our lives. What we want to look at for co regulation is the depth of that relationship.

How many people do we have in our life that can show up for us that can provide that co regulation that can just sit in the ick without fixing or without doing being with us. So those are my reflections for this week. relationship, co regulation, how does that apply in all settings? I hope as you go through this week and you hear these reflections, you're really thinking about your own relationships as well as how you co regulate for others and how you allow others to co regulate for you.

So appreciate you listening and I'll see you next week. [00:05:00]