Chitty Chats with Stacy

reflection 9
===

[00:00:00] Hi friends! Happy Monday. I want to chat this week a little bit about the power of repair. So, a lot of times when we think about relationships, we think about communication, we think about intimacy, we think about connection, we think about spending time together, those basic love languages. We don't often talk about the power of repair.

And the importance of repair. Not just the power of repair, but the importance of repair. So, I've been reflecting a lot on this this week because I have been one crabby apple to be around the last couple weeks. I have a lot on [00:01:00] my plate. I've been a little bit more stressed than normal. I'm fighting a health issue.

And a whole series of events have occurred. And I've not been a very kind person. And to the people I love the most. And it's caused me to really dig into my own accountability, my own ownness of owning this, of my behavior. And for a long time, I've been the kind of person who we don't blame others for how we behave, right?

We very much have to own our own behavior, especially as adults. Now, kids, that looks a little different because they. Their brains are a little bit different. As adults, we own our own behavior. We're grownups. We, even if we're stressed, we still [00:02:00] have to, you know, act appropriately, so to speak. And so it's been an interesting couple of weeks in just saying, I'm sorry and saying, how can we repair?

And how can I build that with you? And how can I rebuild that with you? And please let me own my part of this part of our relationship. And I think repair is less about the, I'm sorry, and more about the change in behavior and moving forward with different behavior. And I think as adults, we often put that on children and we want kids to act right, behave right, know the difference between right and wrong, all those things.

And I don't think those are terrible expectations. I think I think it's okay to have those expectations. I think it's also important that [00:03:00] we model those expectations. And so these pieces of just owning our own part in a relationship that's been fractured or hurt, or, you know, knowing full well that maybe the behavior you, I had didn't land in the way that I wanted it to, or I was unkind or mean or.

or said something that hurt somebody's feelings that I care about. I think repair is important and I think it's something that we just need to continue to model and practice. And as adults, it's very powerful when we do that in our own relationships and we just say, Hey, I messed up. Hey, this is what's going on with me.

And this is how I'll do better next time. And so that is a piece I've definitely been repairing. [00:04:00] So if you're listening to this, and you're one of my loved ones, and I haven't said I'm sorry, or talked about how I've behaved, and we need to repair in some way, by all means, call me out, please give me a jingle, uh, and I'll be happy to chat with you.

I think I've gotten everybody covered, so, uh, for what it's worth, mostly my behavior's just been, temper tantrum. Just saying some mean things and not and just being gritchy for those of you who don't know me Well, gritchy is one of my favorite words. It's sort of grumpy and bitchy. It's a combo You're not real bitchy, but you're not real grumpy.

You're kind of in the middle So you're gritchy and I live there a lot not a lot, but when I'm stressed, that's my normal go to So for you know, those of you listening, I hope you think about your own relationships and really sink into [00:05:00] repair You're gonna And is there anybody in your life that you need to repair with?

Is there anybody that you need to just reach out and have a conversation with? And say, Hey, this is my part of what we've done and how I want to own this. And, you know, I'll move forward and I'll do better. So, uh, I appreciate you all spending some time with me today. Hope you all have a wonderful week.

And here's to repairing those relationships that are really important.