Chitty Chats with Stacy

Hey friends.

Welcome back to Chitty Chats with Stacy.

I sure appreciate all of
you who have tuned back in.

I know I was gone for quite a while
and I appreciate those of you who

are back and joining me again, and
I appreciate all of those, all those

of you who are new and joining us.

So the next few weeks, I'm
just gonna spend some time

talking about what's in my head.

I have a lot going on in my brain.

I wanna share it with all of you,
and I'm building some cool stuff

and I want to talk about that and
I'm scheduling to get some pretty

fun friends on here with us as well.

So hang in there, stick with me.

I appreciate you listening.

I wanna talk today.

I was gonna talk about rural America.

I think we'll pause that and
we'll get back to that next week.

And I was gonna share some
thoughts about what it's like

to live in these very small.

With a lack of resources.

So stay tuned for more of that.

What I wanna talk about today
is just my experience last week.

I definitely had some big feelings
last week, and part of my mission

on the planet, as most of you
know by now, is to walk through

really hard stuff with people.

And I think part of my job is also to mom.

That for people.

And so I think it's important to just
acknowledge what happened to me last week

and just let you know like I was not okay.

All the stuff that's going on
with Iran and politically has

been very difficult for me.

In addition to all of the stuff
around the Epstein files and the.

Exorbitant amount of information around
sexual assault and sexual abuse in women.

And I just woke up one morning
and was just filled with rage.

And I think it's important to
acknowledge those moments in time.

Maybe it's, there's a part of me that
it feels out of control and I don't

have a lot of control over things.

May.

It's all the news and the death of
so many humans and the abuse of so

many humans, and I'm a pretty big
empath, and so I feel that very deeply.

Maybe it's middle age and my body
is changing and I'm done with

people's bullshit and I'm tired
of being lied to, and I'm really

in a place now where I think a lot
about leadership and I think a.

Lot about the responsibility that we have
to each other and to the world as a whole.

Maybe it's just a culmination of all
of that, and I wasn't going to talk

about it, but I felt like it was really
important to just say it out loud.

And I would imagine that there are
a few of you out there that probably

feel some of the same things, and I
just had to cancel a couple of my days.

Call in sick to work and
just say, I can't today.

I gotta keep my own head above water.

And I feel grateful.

I have a wonderful support group of
people that really listens to me.

My husband's fantastic.

And then, you know what I did friends.

I did what I tell all of you to do.

I went back to the basics.

I made sure I was sleeping okay.

I turned off social media.

I stopped looking at it every day.

Did a couple posts but I wasn't on
it reading it, refreshing looking.

I, made sure I was drinking enough water.

I had some good food.

I nourishing food.

I went to the gym.

I moved my body, and then I went
and spent some time in little.

Little town, nowhere, middle of nowhere
little town USA in Montana and hung out

with people in the education system.

And that always revives me.

It's important that I hang out
with people that have some of the

same belief systems that I have.

I do think that it's so important
to acknowledge this collective.

Trauma that we are all experiencing and.

Sometimes people will say to
me, Stacy, it's not traumatic.

And I'll tell you, reading
the news, holding space for

as much pain that's happening.

We're not built to see the news 24 7.

We're not built for that.

We're not built to be inundated.

With millions of pages of
hard to read, brutal acts of

violence that have occurred.

I have been a social worker, a life.

Clinical social worker who works
with traumatized people, people

who've been through some of the most
significant trauma for 20 years.

I've worked with kids
who've been sex trafficked.

I've worked with sexual
assault victims and survivors.

I've worked with sexual
assault perpetrators.

I've worked with people
who've attempted suicide.

People who've walked in and found their
family member who have completed suicide.

I know that when I am working with a
person and I'm hearing their story in real

life, one hour at a time, that is heavy.

So to have these documents released
in millions of pages and people

taking this deep dive and reading
and releasing and commenting on the

significance and the hard and the
abuse that, that these women and men.

Experienced and spending hours with this.

It's not normal.

It's not normal and I think it's
really important to say that it's

not normal to be consuming so much
traumatic information all at one time.

And it's, we're not investigators,
we're not crime scene investigators.

We're not lawyers going to trial.

We are regular.

Are American lay people and we are
consuming this information at a rate that

is unhealthy and traumatic collectively.

And I know that I broke last week,
my rubber band was stretched friends.

You've also heard me say many times,
like when our nervous system is

stressed, our rubber band stretch
stretches and sometimes it stretches.

So far we gotta figure
out when to release.

And I think for me last week it snapped.

It snapped for me last week.

And what did that look like?

It looked like just a rage, a deep,
deep in my core anger of the injustice.

The injustice, the lack of respect
and responsibility to the American

people, to the Iranian people to q.

Humans to humans the lack of
communication around certain issues,

the massive amounts of communication.

And I realize for some of you, you
may listen to this and you may say,

Stacey, you're a bleeding heart.

Stacey, you're a softie.

I get it.

I get it.

I probably am a bleeding heart.

I probably am a softie.

My entire mission on the planet is to.

Help people who've been through
traumatic events, and I am watching

us experience this collective
trauma in a way that is alarming.

And I think that we are living
in a time where many people's

nervous systems are activated.

So I just.

Wanna acknowledge that, and I
wanna say to you, you're not alone.

You're not alone.

It's okay if your nervous
system is activated.

It's okay if you're angry.

It's okay if you're having some
big responses, some big feelings.

And also take care of yourself.

I've gone back and forth.

A lot on what's my capacity for advocacy,
for changing systems, and honestly,

friends, right now, this is probably it.

I can talk about it.

I don't know that I can protest.

I don't know that I can go and
lobby at a, at a state place.

I don't know that I can write my senator.

I can talk about it and
acknowledge that it's happening.

I'll probably get back to that.

I'll get back to where I was
and be able to do those things,

but I'm, it's exhausting.

This is all very exhausting.

And I think the other piece for me is
really this layer that is occurring

between men and women and I. I love men.

I love, I'm raising, I have a
son, I'm married, I have some

of my best friends are men.

I have a lot of very good men in my
life and I really want them to help

carry the load of what's happening.

I want them to stand up to their
friends and tell 'em to knock their

shit off and stop talking shit that
they talk to women and I want them to.

Stand up to their peers and
say, we're not doing that.

Let's treat people this the
right way and be respectful.

And I need momentum to help me out.

I need you.

I need you.

I need you.

And I think we women are carrying.

A big load.

I think we're carrying a mental load
that a lot of people are not carrying.

There's a lot of conversation around that.

If you're a, one of my men
buddies listening to this,

check in with your partners.

Ask them about their mental load.

If you have not had that conversation,
I strongly recommend that you have it.

Some of you might be like, what?

What in the world, a mental load?

For me, a mental load is like
you're going on family vacation.

Everybody gets in the car and you're me,
the mom, I'm the last person in the car.

And everyone's why are you late?

What took you so long?

I had to get everyone ready to go.

You all had to get in the car and
then I had to get myself ready to go.

I watched this happen while
I was traveling this weekend.

Airports are a wonderful place to watch
a lot of dysregulation play out and.

I wanna be clear, there are very good men
in the world and I need you to just step

it up just a little bit more for us ladies
who are carrying a big load and just help.

Just help, please.

And also just know that as we are
unpacking all the shit that we're

reading in these Epstein files and
people are posting about it, just know.

That women grow up differently and
we know that these women were abused.

We know that they were assaulted.

We know that they've been harassed,
and we need men to believe us.

I talk a lot about sexual
harassment and sexual assault,

especially in my army life.

And I do not know one female, me included.

In the military who has not been
sexually harassed or sexually assaulted?

Sometimes both.

I actually have been sexually harassed
multiple times and it's fascinating to me.

How it happens and how there are so
many people who just let it happen.

Especially my men buddies who just
laugh and don't say anything, and

it's obnoxious, it's inappropriate.

We just need you to continue to tell
your buddies to knock their shit off.

And we need you to believe women.

We need you to believe women.

And i'm in some very complicated
situations with complicated

people and complicated rooms,
and what I often say is that

there can be multiple truths
in a situation and we can

figure it out from there.

And so I just wanna acknowledge
like I'm on one right now.

I'm kind of on a soapbox.

I promise I'll get back to my
bubbly self and all the things.

But I feel like if I'm really going to,
if I'm gonna say the things to the world

and really say, ask you as my audience,
as my clients, as my friends, as the

people who support the work that I do,
if I'm gonna ask you to dig deep and

check in with yourself, I gotta be honest
with you and tell you where I'm at.

And last week was really hard.

And there will probably continue
to be some difficult weeks.

I'm doing what I can, I'm not
looking at my phone as much, I'm

not doing social media as much.

I am definitely not reading as much as
I was reading and I'm really holding a

lot of boundaries and space for myself
and doing what keeps me above water.

And I just encourage you to do the same
for you guys, take care of yourselves.

This collective trauma is going to
continue for another couple of years.

It's really brutal.

And so if you're an empath do the
things that make you feel better, right?

Clean cleanse thyself.

I'm a huge fan of water set
in water, shower in water,

go swim, go sit in the ocean.

Put yourself in some water and recalibrate
so that you can, cleanse of all.

The emotional stuff that you're
picking up on and you're tuning into.

If you have empath kids just know
that they may be feeling the energy

of the world right now and they
may be having these emotional not

outbursts but emotional moments that
maybe don't make a lot of sense.

And when they don't make a lot of sense.

We as parents are always trying
to make sense of them, but empath

kids feel a lot of things and they
don't often have words for it.

And so who knows what they saw, what they
heard, depending on what age they are,

who knows what they've been exposed to.

Just know that your empath
kids are probably feeling

some energy in the universe.

And that could be, I remember when my.

Daughter said, mama, I just
feel like I need to cry today.

And I said, oh, sweet girl, me too.

And we just sat and cried.

And this was several years ago.

And she said, how come?

And I said, well, we empath.

Sometimes we're crying tears for the
universe that other people can't cry.

And I just encourage you to just
give them grace, give them a lot

of love and support co-regulate.

They'll be okay.

They're gonna be okay.

So add to that, the full
Moon last week, and boy.

Howdy.

It was just a perfect storm.

So for those of you who are in the
universe with me, keep on keeping on.

I appreciate you being here.

I know it's a little bit of a Debbie
Downer today, but I'm committed.

I'm committed to being
transparent and honest, and I

want you to know where I'm at.

And I just also want you
to know you're not alone.

And if you're where I'm
at, I totally get it.

So, love you.

All.